It's a new decade. What do I want out of it?

So, it's a new day in a new year in a new decade and I figure I should probably update my blog. It has been forever since I started it and then let it peeter out. I heard on the radio that writing a regular blog can be a great source of happiness so I think one of my efforts this year is going to include more blog time. After all, happiness IS what we're after. In the constitution we are guaranteed life, and liberty but we're only guaranteed the "pursuit" of happiness. I guess that means it's up to me to make me happy.

Happiness, Happiness. What is this? It has been defined as "a state of mind characterized by feeling contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy." Hmm, is that really all it takes to sum it up? Actually, that seems like a lot. Starts me questioning whether I have all that. Or any of that. I know I have love(in abundance), I feel satisfaction regularly, with large and small achievements. Even folding a load of laundry brings satisfaction. Pleasure and joy? Pleasure happens almost every day. Joy is more elusive but not missing entirely from my life. I feel like I do have contentment. I feel content with life. Here is a question though. Does contentment lead to complacency? Do I let my contentment hold me back?

Courtney has pointed out a time or two that working for the museum in Chicago was a satisfying and fulfilling job. That she made money enough and felt like an achiever. And that was why she couldn't stay there. She knew it was holding her back. She was too comfortable there. Too "content" you might say. She wanted to be free to pursue her bigger dreams and knew that the only way to do that was to stop leaning on her "real job" and make time for what she truly wanted.

The problem with applying this to my life is....I don't have any big beautiful dreams. Not that I can think of. No career draws me and I have no desire to get a "better" degree. I toy with the idea of having children but is that what I really want? Not really. Not yet.... Sure my wedding looms in the distance but that isn't really a goal.

You know, I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. This is why I don't ever dwell on this subject. It befuddles me. I really am....Happy. It's just sometimes, when people ask me what I do, I feel uncomfortable telling them I work at a restaurant in the same town I grew up in, not far from where I went to collage. I still hang out with the same friends and do the same stuff on the weekends. I still go on basically the same vacations every year. Oh bother. I love all these things though. I like my job. I like Little Rock. I like my friends and I like to go to the beach. I like my life the way it is. I think it's not really my fault. Maybe "society" or our social morays are pushing me to climb life's ladder. To always be "reaching for the stars" and to "climb every mountain" Like I've got something to prove to the world. But if proving something to the world takes away my contentment, what is it worth?