It's funny how I only think to post on my blog when something shitty happens. But there you go. I should really record the fun things in life too. OK, so the shitty part goes like this: I'm tired, tired, tired of my f-ing job. Too much is asked of me and I don't get paid more. Kay wants me to plan this stupid vegan wedding(not mine) just because I'M a vegan. Dumb. I don't know nothing bout planning no catering jobs miss Scarlet. So it is STRESSING ME OUT! I also need more money. Oh, and I should probably work longer hours. Fridays still sucks Balls too. We are always insanely overwrought. And short staffed to boot. I'm just tired of feeling like I need to hold that place together. Elizabeth is still so lazy. So so lazy. I hate her sometimes. Annette is losing her mind. And Todd quits next week. And through it all Kay is just like "La dee da! I see nothing." She didn't even want to put out the help wanted sign until me and Annette both brought it up after another crazy ass Friday.

But looking for a real job is a daunting and scary task. Where do I start? Who do I talk to? What do I want to do? Is this even a good time to look for another job? I mean bad economy, Kay needs me desperately, Wedding and honeymoon looming. The reason I never got a real job in the first place is I'm a big pussy. I don't deal well under this kind of thing. I mean I'd be great at a new job but why can't that job just come to me? Anyway, that's not even why I got on to blog. I wanted to tell you the crazy shit that went down last night.

OK I'm out with the girls at The Saucer having some beer. It was lovely. One of those "fun things" I mentioned above. We all decide to go back to Mallory's house which is cool except my car can't go above 30 mph so I'm forced to take the back roads. I'll probably never get my car back to Little Rock from NLR. Yeah you heard me. My car is still there. Sadly with my phone inside it. Poo. "Why did I leave my car there?" you ask. Well, because some shit hit the fan.

All I wanted to do was go to the gas station to pick up some essentials. Then the dude at the checkout comes around the counter and side grabs me a plants a nasty wet herpes kiss on my mouth. I was like "What the fucK!" It was horrifying! He was so gross and and even if he wasn't, I do not know him! Ew ew ew ew e w e w e w e ew e! He literally chased me out to my car after that and tried to give me a rose. I wish I had run him over. What tha fuck? I freaked out! I called Justin(my hero) and he called the cops. I didn't even think to call the cops but I guess it was the right thing to do. There was much dealing with law enforcement the rest of the night and it kinda made my whole night poopy. Justin came and got me so I didn't have to drive the back roads home in the dark at midnight and that is why my car AND my phone are not with me. poop on last night. I was having a good time until then. What a nasty fucker.

Today Sucks

So here is how my day has gone so far. Starts out I'm running really late for work so I can't take a shower. Balls.Then I forget to put the dog out after I have left the garage soi I have to re-open the garage door, run inside and put the dog out. So before I left for work I told myself "do not take the interstate" because my car is messed the f up and it wont go over 35 mph right now. Balls. I forget and only recall this logic as I'm getting on the freeway. So I'm stuck going 35 on the busiest strech of I430 until I get off at the next exit. My neck still has kinks in it from the stress. Then I get to work. All is well except I'm 30 minutes late. No biggie. Elizabeth shows up in her pajamas. I hate that bitch sometimes. We get really busy and she proceeds to run around with her nasty "I will never gain a pound" belly hanging out all day, doing nothing. She never does shit. Put some damn clothes on nasty. Did I mention we were busy. So I was expecting a call from the auto shop because I tried to get an apointment with a transmision palce over the weekend but they were closed so I left a message. BUT I for got my phone at home because I was in such a hurry. So I do remember to take the back roads all the way home just to check my messages and turn right around because I have to take it over to the transmision place now. I pass right by the place, of course, and have to drive down the road, turn around, and come back. I get there, the guy takes my car around the block and tells me " It's not a transmisions problem" and gives me back my keys. He introduces me to the other guys next door who tell me "bring it back at 7 tomorrow morning." Why can't I just leave it here now?! Fine. I go get in my car and, low and behold, it dies. I try to start it again. It dies. Oh great! What the FUCK NOW? I'm probably out of gas I tell the guy who comes back out to be like "what's wrong with her now?" My dad, who is there to drive me back to my house if I HAD left her there, drives me around the block with my little gas can to buy a smidge of gas to see if that's what the problem is. I only need two dollars worth of gas but the line in the gas station is ten miles long with some ugly bitch up front trying to figure out how to buy a lottery ticket. Geeze lady the line is out the door. Do it another time! I get my gas (Finally) and turn around to go back to my car. Pour it in and after a couple of tries, she starts right up. I was out of gas. Balls. The embarasment. So, I drive back to that same gas station where I now find it all packed up and there is no way I'm getting gas with all those cars there. I drive to the next gas station and as I'm pulling in someone pulls in from the other side and cuts me off. OH MY GOD BITCH! DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO PULL ALL THE WAY FORWARD?! what couldn't she have stopped at the first pump. It's not like she didn't see me either. I almost hit her. I get gas and cruise on home. I get back ond realize in the driveway that I put the little garage door opener in the bottom of a huge bag of stuff I gathered up out of my car because I THOUGHT I was going to be leaving my car at the shop. Balls. I get out, open the door manually and park my car. I realize as I'm getting out the garage opener from the bag, "Fuck! I forgot to go to the bank." I back her up and head back out. TWO cars then try to KILL ME and I barley survive through fast reflexes. One of them was litterally drivng down the wrong side of the road. I hope those poeple die. I put my check in the bank and head back. Once I get here I let the dog in and go outside to get her bowl. And lookie lookie, she has chewed the hose I spent 30 minutes setting up on its little windey upy thingy into a million bits all over my yard. I THOUGHT I put it up where she couldn't get it. I go to the laundry room to start the dryer because I will be damned if all this is going to stop me from finally getting the laundry done and step in a huge puddle of cat piss. Balls.